It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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