id be glad to
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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