how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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