i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
