I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i will never coherently bang her
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize