Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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