According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
