I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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