yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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