Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
