didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
