Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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