That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The maid of honor just puked.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
