he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
