i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
