I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
