got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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