doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize