my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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