I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
