Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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