Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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