Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
