I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
