I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
