After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
