Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
