I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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