just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
