i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
