Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
either way he was missing a nipple.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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