Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just fell off a train. Bad.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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