If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
