Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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