I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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