So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
