DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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