i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
