I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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