I want to make a zoo with you.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
