that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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