If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize