Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize