I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
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