butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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