She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
