Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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