We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
