I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Let's get the cat blown out
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
