new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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