She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
