i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
