I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
