Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
