Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
