doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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