But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
