Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
