y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize