You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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