i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
