3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
