ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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