There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
