guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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