had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
