I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
