remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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