So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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