i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
