I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it's like iHOP with fire
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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