this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
