So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Two words: blizzard sex
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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