Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize