Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
