In the future we'll all be gay
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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