lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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