Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
