last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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